How to stop self sabotage

Let me tell you about my struggle with self-sabotage. For years, I felt like I was my own worst enemy. Whenever I got close to achieving something, whether it was a new relationship, a career goal, or even just a fitness target, I'd somehow find a way to mess it up. I'd procrastinate, make excuses, or even outright sabotage my efforts with bad decisions.

It was frustrating, to say the least. I realized I needed to change when I lost a job I really wanted. I had been doing well, but then I started arriving late, missing deadlines, and generally slacking off. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. That was my wake-up call. The first thing I did was try to understand why I was doing it.

I started journaling, writing down my thoughts and feelings whenever I felt the urge to self-sabotage. I discovered that I often did it when I was feeling overwhelmed or scared of success. The fear of failing was bad, but the fear of succeeding and not being able to handle it was even worse. Once I understood the root causes, I started to tackle them.

I broke down my goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This made them seem less daunting and reduced my anxiety. Instead of trying to write an entire novel, I focused on writing just one page each day. I also started practicing self-compassion. I realized that I was often very critical of myself, which only fueled my self-sabotaging behavior.

I began to treat myself with the same kindness and understanding I would offer a friend. When I made a mistake, I didn't beat myself up about it; instead, I learned from it and moved on. Another helpful strategy was to identify my triggers. Certain situations, people, or even times of day seemed to make me more likely to self-sabotage. Once I knew what these triggers were, I could prepare for them in advance.

For example, if I knew that I tended to procrastinate on Mondays, I would make a detailed to-do list on Sunday evening to help me stay on track. I also learned the importance of setting boundaries. I realized that I was often saying yes to things that I didn't really want to do, which left me feeling stressed and resentful. I started saying no more often, and I prioritized my own needs.

This helped me to feel more in control of my life and less likely to self-sabotage. It's also important to celebrate small victories. Acknowledging my progress, no matter how small, helped me to stay motivated and build momentum. I started keeping a "wins" journal, where I wrote down all the things I had accomplished each day. Looking back at this journal helped me to see how far I had come and encouraged me to keep going.

Finally, I learned to ask for help. I talked to a therapist about my struggles with self-sabotage, and she provided me with valuable insights and tools. I also confided in friends and family, who offered support and encouragement. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Over time, these strategies helped me to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage.

It wasn't easy, and I still have my moments, but I'm now much better equipped to handle them. The key is to be patient with yourself, persistent in your efforts, and always remember that you are capable of achieving your goals. I am living proof. You can do it too. It takes time, effort, and self-awareness, but it's absolutely possible to stop being your own worst enemy and start becoming your biggest advocate.

Comments: Sarah K. I would recommend focusing on building self-esteem as a cornerstone to tackling self-sabotage. When you truly believe in your worth, you're less likely to undermine your own success. Made a huge difference for me!
David M. One thing that really helped me was identifying my negative self-talk. I started writing down the things I told myself, and then I challenged those thoughts.

It was amazing how much of my self-sabotage was driven by these internal criticisms.
Emily L. For me, it was all about forgiving myself for past mistakes. Holding onto guilt and shame only perpetuated the cycle of self-sabotage. Learning to let go and move forward was crucial.
John B. A really practical tip is to set realistic expectations.

Often, we self-sabotage because we're aiming for perfection, which is unattainable. Aim for progress, not perfection! It will significantly reduce the pressure and feelings of inadequacy.
Karen S. I'd say, focus on creating a supportive environment. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and will encourage you along the way. Avoid toxic relationships that trigger your self-sabotaging behaviors.