How to stop waiting for someone else to start

It felt like my life was on hold. I was always waiting. Waiting for my friends to plan a trip, waiting for my partner to suggest a movie night, waiting for my colleagues to initiate a new project. I was essentially waiting for permission to live my own life, and it was exhausting. One day, I realized I was the common denominator in all these scenarios.

I was the one holding myself back. The change didn't happen overnight, but it started with a simple decision: I would take the first step. The first thing I did was identify what I truly wanted. Not what I thought others wanted for me, but what genuinely sparked my interest. I made a list of things I'd always wanted to do, from learning to play the guitar to visiting Italy.

Then, I chose one small, achievable goal. For me, it was joining a local hiking group. I didn't wait for my friends to be interested; I simply signed up. Next, I learned to overcome my fear of rejection or disappointment. I realized that not everyone would be on board with my plans, and that was okay. Some friends wouldn't want to hike, and some colleagues might not be enthusiastic about my project ideas.

But that didn't mean my ideas were bad or that I was doing something wrong. It simply meant our interests didn't align at that moment. I started practicing initiating conversations and suggesting activities. Instead of waiting for my partner to plan a date, I would propose a fun outing. I started sharing my ideas in team meetings, even if they weren't fully formed.

Surprisingly, most of the time, people were receptive and even excited. Even when they weren't, it was still a valuable learning experience. Communication became key. I learned to clearly express my needs and desires. Instead of passively waiting for others to read my mind, I would directly ask for what I wanted. This wasn't about being demanding, but about being assertive and taking ownership of my life.

I also started celebrating small victories. Each time I took the initiative, I acknowledged my accomplishment, no matter how small. This helped build my confidence and motivation. I also learned to reframe my thinking. I stopped viewing myself as someone who needed permission and started seeing myself as a leader, someone who could inspire and motivate others.

This shift in perspective made a huge difference in my confidence and my ability to take action. It's a journey, not a destination. There are still times when I feel the urge to wait for someone else to start. But now I recognize that feeling and actively choose to push past it. I remind myself that I am capable of creating my own opportunities and shaping my own experiences.

The world doesn't owe me anything, but I owe it to myself to live a life of purpose and passion, not one defined by waiting. Start small, be consistent, and remember that you have the power to create the life you want. Don't wait for someone else to give you permission. Sarah J I think this is great advice! Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to be liked or included that we forget to just do things for ourselves.

I'd add that it's important to be kind to yourself during this process. There will be setbacks, but don't let them discourage you. Keep trying!
David B A really helpful article! One thing that really helped me was to find a mentor or a role model who was good at taking initiative. Watching them and learning from their example made a big difference.

Maybe include that in the future version?
Emily K I agree with everything mentioned here. I struggled with this for years! I would also suggest setting realistic expectations. Not every project will be a success, and not everyone will be supportive. But that's okay! The important thing is to keep learning and growing.